Spare a thought for the poor call centre staff

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This article appeared in the February 2018 issue of CRN magazine.

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Spare a thought for the poor call centre staff

COMMENT  |  Sure, telco customers have it rough sometimes. But who’s looking after the support team?

< Ring ring ring ring >

“Hello, Rabid Response network help desk.”

“You gotta do something about our
network.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“It’s crap!”

“Can you be a little more specific?”

“It’s slow as a turtle trudging through treacle. And it drops out. A lot.”

“Oh. Okay, we’ll have a look.”

< On hold. Time passes >

“Your network is ADSL and you’re only getting 2Mbps.”

“Can you fix it?”

“No, that’s ADSL where you are. It’s not going to get faster. Ever.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“We could connect you via 4G mobile. What’s your phone reception like there?”

“Well, I’m talking to you.”

“Yeah okay, but does your phone say 4G in the top corner?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind we’ll get you hooked up on 4G. Hopefully.”

< ring ring ring ring >

“Hello, Rabid Response network help desk.”

“You gotta do something about our network.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“It’s crap!”

“Can you be a little more specific?”

“It’s slow as a turtle trudging through treacle. And it drops out. A lot.”

“Oh. Okay, we’ll have a look. Oh, wait, you were on ADSL and we put you on 4G.”

“Yeah, well, it’s still crap.”

“Oh. Okay, we’ll have a look.”

< On hold. Time passes >

“Your network is on 4G and you’re only

getting 2.4Mbps.”

“Can you fix it?”

“No, that’s 4G where you are. It’s not going to get faster. Ever.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“We could connect you via NBN. Has anyone offered you NBN?”

“No.”

“Oh. Okay, we’ll have a look.”

< On hold. Time passes >

“We can’t connect you to fixed wireless NBN until maybe December.”

“Hang on, there’s a new NBN tower – I can see it from my window!”

“Yes, but it’s pointing the wrong way.”

“Well get it turned around then!”

“Then everyone who gets NBN now would drop off.”

“Well get another thingy put up there, pointed this way!”

“Yes, well they are doing that.”

“When?”

“Maybe December.”

“You have got to be kidding!”

Gotta go! Network support call!   

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